A couple of weeks ago, out of the blue, I just suddenly thought of my blog and why I am still keeping it open despite of my very rare posts. Last year was so scarce, I only posted twice. Honestly, it made me sad. This year, it’s a miracle that I have already posted four times, this one is the fifth. However, I noticed that I only post when I want to show my artworks along with tidbits about my work. Not quite the reason why I created this blog. Not at all…
About six or seven years ago, I had a blog dedicated specially for my fandom whims and life raves and rants. Actually, that blog is still alive, just inactive for a couple of years already. I don’t know why livejournal hasn’t deleted it yet. But it is still there. I can even still logon. Anyways, that old blog helped me find balance between my work and social life – the latter being so little because of the former.
I was a corporate slave and I felt I needed to socialize even if it was only on an online world. I was never a facebook person and status updates were never my thing. I like writing down my thoughts. I like talking about my favorite stuff – reading novels, anime, Korean drama, Kpop and so forth. When I delved into the world of K-dramas and Kpop, I needed a place to talk about it. Forums were never enough. I felt I needed my own space to post my thoughts with no holds barred, a haven where I could praise or criticize unabashedly.
Then one day, writing became not only a way to de-stress myself, it became my passion. During college I learned that I could write good poems, short stories and essays. But I wrote those because I needed to pass a course. I never really thought about doing it on a regular basis. So when I started my old blog, I put so much effort in every post I write even if the topic was just about my crappy day at the office. I could write so long and passionately about my fandom and I was really happy when it was being read by others with the same hobbies. I got several followers and readers who found my blog amusing, my reviews and critiques praised and agreed with, and my artworks admired.
When I left my old employer and leveled up in the corporate ladder, I found myself living a better social life. Work and personal life are now balance. I am now an occasional corporate slave. However, blog life became scarce though I still enjoy the same hobbies. I have more time to enjoy reading, watching movies, and other things. I just couldn’t find the time and the right words to start a good post. I don’t know what happened. I just lost the fire… the passion…
When I changed blog host and had a new blog concept (not focused on fandom whims), I thought it would get me started to writing again. Well, at the start it did. I think I wrote a couple of good movie reviews. But that’s just about it. I have read so many books since I created this blog and promised to write a review about them. To this day not a single word has been written.
I am disappointed with myself coz laziness got the better of me. I can write a long, coherent topic at the moment and I am surprising myself that I do have the right words and that I do know how to blog. I believe I just have to be firm with my decision. I need to remind myself why I want to blog – that is to let the writer within me free again and let her voice (no matter how biased) be heard again.
That being said, I look forward to writing my first book review (after so many years) – Attachments by Rainbow Rowell.
Image source: https://flic.kr/p/5jFua9